If you read Don’t Look Back, you know I don’t spend much time fretting about the past. I’ve made enough stupid mistakes to fret over—trust me on this—but I try not to get bogged down by them. You can’t soar toward a bright future if you drag the past behind you.
That said, I do sometimes wonder why I made certain detours in life, diversions that seemed like mistakes at the time. I’m one of those people who does believe everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t mean the reason is always apparent. So while I wait for enlightenment on several of my seemingly meaningless life detours, I’m always fascinated to hear stories from others who know exactly why something happened.
On Labor Day Weekend, I flew to a small airport outside of Raleigh to take my friend, Robin, and two of her three sons flying. The youngest is just a few months old. She and I had met in a fitness certification in Apex, NC and after discovering I had my pilot’s license and a plane, she asked if I could give her two older sons a ride. Not until after we’d committed to go up did I learn she doesn’t really care for flying. But she set those feelings aside to experience the flight with her boys. I was honored she had so much trust in me.
Before the ride, we all headed to lunch, including her husband Chris, who is also a fitness instructor. Although I’d seen Chris slip into the exercise room for a brief time when Robin and I were in the training, I’d never officially met him. But he and I had exchanged several emails and spoken on the phone a couple of times when trying to coordinate the flight. In one of the conversations I’d learned that Chris and I had both been at East Carolina University together, starting the same year. Other than ECU and his fitness activities, I didn’t know much else about him.
In our conversation before and during lunch, I learned Chris had been a police officer for a year before he and Robin had married. I wasn’t surprised when he relayed this; he has that look about him. He’s super fit and has a commanding, yet trustworthy air about him. Perhaps that appearance actually led him down the path, people constantly telling him he looked like he belonged in law enforcement. Before entering the field, Chris had what most people would consider a normal job with regular hours and holidays off. He didn’t realize how much he missed his old life until one Christmas Eve night, six months into the job. Sitting alone in his patrol car, he looked at his watch that read 11:45 pm, then spoke into the silence: “Well… this sucks.”
Chris stuck with the policeman gig for a full year before returning to his old job. As I listened to his story, I knew, at the point Chris had decided the career wasn’t for him, that he must have wondered numerous times why he’d uprooted his life to make that detour. He didn’t have to wonder long.
One day, years ago, Robin needed some assistance and a police officer showed up to help. That officer was Chris. When Robin picked up the story and relayed that part, everything made sense. No way would we all have been sitting there, Chris, Robin and their beautiful family, had he not felt compelled to give law enforcement a try. He would never have met Robin. I pondered the profound nature of it all for a few moments, at least until Robin added a bit more to the story that had me laughing hard while remembering we should never place total stock in appearances alone.
After Chris and Robin’s initial meeting, she ran into him again later. Finishing the story, she described Chris in his uniform and how she couldn’t help but think of him as her “knight in shining armor.” Little did she know he’d made a decision by that point to return to his previous job, the career that better suited him as an individual.
When she approached to thank him for what he’d done, he downplayed it and said the words that jolted her from her knight-in-shining-armor reverie: “You’re welcome, but… I’m actually a middle school band director!”
Found your blog on "Networked Blogs." Thanks for the read. And hey … what's the big deal? Band leaders wear uniforms, right? I get why you don't ruminate on what could have been. Husband is a pilot, and here's the plaque currently hanging on his wall:
"Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect."
And there's a photo of a plane hanging in a tree.
I'm a bit behind with email inbox but decided that today would be a great 'detour' to deal with things…I'm supposed to have a REST day 🙂
I have taken plenty of detours in my life – some good, some not so good – many out of tempo with the rest of my peers. But all have given me a richer life experience – well I think SO!
I have detoured with friends and acquaintances – sometimes I have never known why a certain friendship has developed…sometimes definite reason for them.
Some of those friendships have dissolved now…mainly because I have moved on or they have moved off. None of them I particularily regret alhough a few of them I have "wondered what they are doing now?"
life is just a bunch of twists and turns which just makes life just that more interesting IMHO 🙂
Hey, I'm related to Chris and Robin and can testify to the truth of this story. They are a great family!
As always happens when I read your great stories, this one gave me Goosebumps. It's so true. Life is full of detours. I wrote my first poem at the age of seven and always wanted to write fiction, but life intruded. After some rather painful detours I am finally able to manifest my true destiny, writing historical fiction. I can't focus on the detours, and neither should anyone else, because I can only live in one moment, and that moment is this moment, which is extremely wonderful!
It appears I've made many detours and have never looked back. Decided to go to Grazil to see John of God when I had to decide to do that or look for a different job as the position I had was not paying the bills and I would have been out of money soon. Spent all my capital on the trip and let the Universe take care of me after that. Met Evroula who would within a couple of years become my wife. The money I didn't have before the trip showed up afterwards and now I've travelled all over the world and own a beutiful home in rockingham country. Not bad.
With a family rife with teachers, I hear a lot of stories, and let me assure you, being a middle-school band teacher can be a pretty dangerous occupation as well! Next time I visit, I want a joy ride too! Godspeed!
Oh my God, I LOVED this story. That ending line is the best. I'm also a believer that everything happens for a reason but I find it usually takes years to be able to look back and realize, "So that's why that happened!" Great post.
I love this post, as I, too, believe everything happens for a reason. I got goosebumps as I read. I've taken some detours, side trips, but they were all good, because they brought me to this fine moment I'm in right now, as I write this. What a wonderful story of Robin and her husband, Chris. I Love how the Universe works.