Have you ever watched a movie that follows multiple characters over a period of time as they unknowingly weave in and out of each others lives? Then fate brings them together near the end? Critics grumble that these movies are unrealistic, their depiction of life contrived and too chocked full of coincidences. But aren’t all movies contrived to a degree, a cinematic reveal of meaningful events using elements yanked from real life but with all the boring parts left out?
Critics be damned. I’m convinced those coincidental events happen frequently; we just don’t recognize them. Film cameras don’t follow us around to capture every wide-angle moment as life flows past us in a river of unknown individuals, some who return later to become meaningful in our lives. Sometimes we know the significance of the coincidences, sometimes we don’t. But something is behind them all.
Years ago, a friend of mine and her husband had some laughs looking over old photos of him, ones taken before they met. Sifting through them, one caught her eye. In it, he stood inside the city mall. Shoppers milled behind him as the photographer snapped the shot. My friend’s heart raced when she spotted herself passing in the crowd. At that time, she and her future husband didn’t even live in the same town. Her home was nearly an hour away. Had the photographer snapped that photo five seconds before or after, they would never have known they were mere feet apart, years before they met face-to-face. Who knows if they had other near misses over the years.
One coincidence I’m still trying to figure out is an event that happened almost two years ago. Susan and I took an anniversary vacation to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. Most of the crowd was older, so we were happy to meet and become friends with a great couple close to our ages. They were from Minot, North Dakota, a long way from our home in Greensboro, North Carolina.
Near the end of the week, the resort had an evening buffet and unlike the previous dinners, this one seated everyone in random groups so the vacationers could meet new people. The host guided the four of us to a table of eight. Two other couples, both near our group’s ages, were already seated. We had spoken to one of the couples briefly over the course of the week, but we’d never asked where they were from. The other husband and wife were new to us, having arrived a day or so before.
I’m the conversation instigator, so I asked the other couples where they lived. All eyes widened when the first couple replied, “Minot, North Dakota.” A flurry of conversation followed, our friends and this couple exchanging info about Minot trying to figure out if they’d ever run into one another.
“Quite the coincidence,” I said as their exchange tapered. “Where do you guys live?” I asked, turning to the other couple at the table.
“We live in Greensboro, North Carolina.”
All eyes widened yet again as another round of furious conversation erupted. We even determined that the woman’s close friend loved to take one of Susan’s group exercise classes.
How do four couples travel such a long distance independently, only to get randomly seated at a table together to find they are from the same respective cities? A friend of mine pointed out later that maybe the host who seated us knew where everyone lived. “No way,” I told him. “They didn’t ask for room numbers or our names. Nothing could have keyed the host in to where any of us lived.”
I hadn’t thought of that Jamaica encounter for a long time, not until another event brought it to mind.
A month ago, my brother’s neighbors had a small get together and invited us as well. Walter and Lindsay—my brother and his wife—and Scott and Amy, who opened their house to us, had all been members of the same pool where Susan and I were members. Over the summer we came to know them better and enjoyed their company.
After dinner the kids played together in the next room as the adults sat around the dinner table. Conversations flowed: stories, laughter, more stories, then for some reason we started discussing that nightmare vehicle that everyone seems to own at least once in their lives, the clunker that needs constant repair. As Amy revealed that her’s had been a Ford Explorer, Walter’s brow furrowed as he cut his eyes toward Amy next to him.
“What color was your Explorer,” he said.
“White,” Amy replied. “Why?”
“Did you ever run out of gas at the corner of Westover and Green Valley?”
Her head tilted. “How’d you know?”
“I was the guy who drove you to the gas station!”
“Shut up!” Amy shot back.
“We don’t say, ‘Shut up,’ Mommy,” shot a small voice from the next room.
Everyone at the table erupted in laughter, but then questions started flying from everyone. Amy had run out of gas over seven years ago, well before she and Scott had met Walter and Lindsay as neighbors. Walter and I worked together then, so once Walter connected the dots, I remembered Amy as well. My office was next to Walter’s, which was next to the main entrance where Amy had walked in to ask for help. Walter drove her to the gas station and then came back with a can and poured gas into her vehicle.
Afterward, I thought about how the clunker conversation led to the revelation that Walter and Amy’s paths had crossed in a semi-significant way so many years before they “met” as neighbors. For most, I’m not sure the mention of a car type would jog a seven year-old memory the way it did for Walter. But he’s a car guy. Has always loved them and with one glance can tell you the exact make and model, often down to the year. He’d thought Amy looked familiar when they had met, but not until he paired her with the Ford Explorer, did the full memory return.
How often does this happen but we aren’t aware of it? Again, I’m convinced it happens a lot. Maybe those reading this can shed some light: if you’ve had a similar occurrence, please share it with the rest of us in the comments below. Perhaps we can prove it’s more common than most realize.
My dad (B-17 Bombardier) and his WW II aircraft commander, Bill H were good friends. I got to know Bill’s son, Steve who is an internet photographer. One day, long after our fathers’ deaths, Steve introduces me, electronically, to a person named Bob who found him on the internet.
It seems that Bob’s father recently died and his mother, Dorothy, confessed that she was once engaged to Bill H and that Bill promised to name an airplane after her. He asked Steve if he had any information about a B-17 named “Dorothy” or “Dot.” I got involved in the search for the missing aircraft.
I didn’t find any record of an airplane, but what I did find was a post-war letter from Bill to my father. Among other things, he congratulated my father on his engagement to my mother and announced breaking his engagement with Dot. After all these years, I now know who Dot is.
This was not a connection that was re-established over seven decades, but one that also spanned a generation.
Very cool story, Dan. Thanks for sharing.
I had a defining moment in 1986. In June of 1986, I attended a one day freshman orientation with my mother at Trenton State College. During our tour, I met a terrific girl named Karen from North Jersey who was with her father. We really hit it off during the orientation. Before we parted, we exchanged phone numbers. When we left orientation that day, we said, "let’s call each other when we find out our room assignments so we can meet up". That August, in the mail I received my room assignment and my roommate. To my surprise and delight, it was Karen, that really cool girl I met at orientation! Coincidence? ….I think not :). We proceeded to room together for the next four years in different dorms and in off campus housing. She is also our oldest son TJ’s godmother. To this day, she is one of my very, very best friends.
I always like hearing this story. 🙂
Great post Chris! and totally true, there are no coincidences and every connection in our life has a purpose and all we need to do is pay attention
Thanks, Dubravka. And you are so right. Paying attention is key!
A Navy buddy who served with me on the USS Peterson posted this on my Facebook after reading the post:
"Six degrees separate us…..some think less. The world is not as big as we think or feel it is. The best incident to my recollection was a bar fight at the club in Puerto Rico. Pete sailors vs. 4 Marines…..Many years and many miles later, one of those Marines worked for me as a QC inspector in Louisville, KY. We were swapping sea stories at lunch one day…..found out he punched his current boss in the face many years before. Be careful who you punch LOL…you may end up working for them. Karma in action."
John Nye
A few years ago my wife and I were in Bonaire on a dive trip and were sitting at a bar watching the world cup soccer matches; Venezuela was playing in one of the matches so the place was packed with excited locals rooting for their team. We noticed an older gentleman with his family seated at the table next to us; we also recognized a familiar NC lilt in his accent. We introduced ourselves, asked him where he was from and what he and the family were doing in Bonaire. He indicated he was indeed from NC, retired from Duke Energy, had traveled down the coast in his sail boat and was island hopping his way to the Panama canal with plans to head up the West coast of the Americas to Alaska. His family had met him at this location to visit after his being out to sea for 6 months. He also indicated he attended NC State, was a student in the Nuclear Engineering program during the mid 70s. Both my father and my wife’s Uncle were enrolled in the same program during that time frame. When we mentioned my wife’s uncles name (Vaughn Wagoner), the man indicated they had worked together for 30+ years, attended college together and were best friends. He further indicated that on his travels from NC to Bonaire every place he had stopped he had a similar experience, meeting someone with whom he was indirectly or directly associated with at some point in he or his family history. So it is a small world after all.
Love that story, Sid. And that it was a common theme in all his ports.