Who Planted the Doubt in Your Head?

There’s a saying that’s common:

The sky’s the limit.

It’s said to encourage someone, to inspire him or her to aim as high as possible.

But the sky is not the limit. It never was.

The irony is that the saying itself is subtly limiting. I’m sure it’s meant with good intentions, but what if the person hearing it dreams of becoming an astronaut and wants to be the first to set foot on Mars?

Would the phrase be relevant then? Would it inspire?

I’d like to believe the saying appeared before man learned to fly because then it does invoke a sense of no-limit dreaming for the people of that era, that anything was possible. But if it originated after humans first flew through the sky, the phrase loses some luster: coined at a time when we knew flight was possible, but apparently believed that was as high as we’d ever get.

But regardless of its origin, it etched itself into society’s collective phrasebook, passing from generation to generation without much thought given to the fact that it doesn’t make sense anymore when used today.

We simply accept it as a positive phrase without considering its true meaning.

So what does this have to do with you?

Everything.

There is something you were meant to do. Don’t ask me what, because only you know. Perhaps it’s not apparent now, but one day, if you listen to the part of you that knows what is right for you—that inner compass—you’ll discover it.

But after that enlightening moment when we finally determine our life’s purpose, obstacles start to mount. External barriers rise to challenge us.

As formidable as these obstructions seem, none are as monumental as the ones in our heads, those feelings we know as doubt.

However, like a phrase handed down through generations without regard for its original meaning, self-doubt is passed along the same way. To reach our grand potential, we must recognize that doubt is a seed usually planted by someone else.

It may feel as if it’s ours when it whispers within our head using our voice, but if you look hard enough at your past, you will find a time when someone slipped that foreign seed into the fertile ground of your young mind.

It may have been a well-meaning parent or a not-so-well-meaning neighborhood kid. It could have been a person who didn’t want to see you hurt, mistakenly believing the universe would crush your dream.

But the universe doesn’t crush dreams. People do. And mostly, they crush dreams because people in their lives crushed their dreams years ago.

It’s time we break the cycle of doubt. Two ways come to mind, and they both start with the person in the mirror.

First, we must conquer our own doubts. Seeds of doubt only grow when we water them with mental energy. Resolve to strip that focus away from the doubt and direct it toward steps to reach your dream. The doubt, losing nutrients needed to grow, will wither or disappear altogether.

But what if the doubt has grown into a gnarled dark mass within? We are—and will always be—bigger than that doubt. But rather than trying to tear it out through sheer force of will, dig down to its roots. Write the doubt in one sentence.

Then ask, is this something I know, or something I fear? What evidence supports it? What evidence challenges it? Finally, choose a small step toward your dream and take it. Each time you move forward without waiting for certainty, another rooto loosens.

But it’s not enough to tend to our own doubts. We must also become vigilant that we don’t pass them to our children, our friends, or back to those who first handed them to us. Everyone you meet with an honorable dream deserves encouragement. It’s not up to us to decide if the dream is attainable. It’s our job as humans to help others believe in themselves.

The person you inspire to act may one day create a cure for a disease that would have cut your life short. Or she may be the first to set foot on Mars, a stepping stone to the stars that opens other worlds for your children’s children.

We never lose when we help someone else succeed.

The next time someone tries to discourage you from your dream, or you feel the urge to talk some sense into others regarding those dreams, remember:

The sky is NOT the limit, and it never was.