Failure can be a scary thing. Most of us sense it lurking at the edge of anything important we try to accomplish. It also has a particular sound to it, our own voices forming the words, “What if I can’t…” or “Who am I to…”
We try to shrug it off and move forward, but its weight sometimes slows our inertia until one day we aren’t moving forward any more. For some, they stop trying at all. Those people often awaken near the end of their lives to find themselves mired in mediocrity.
I don’t want that. I’d rather go down trying than give up. But as a recovering perfectionist, the fear of failure still taunts me. And sometimes I respond by avoiding actions that will carry me toward my life’s intent. I will surf the internet instead of writing. I will clean a closet versus creating. My mind will justify both avoidance techniques, especially since I read a lot of improvement articles on the internet, but I’m still wasting valuable time.
Maybe we should shed our adult brains and look to the young. If you’ve ever watch a toddler learn to walk, you know the tike fails a lot. Step, fall, step, fall… until one day: step, step, step. (Ever notice that “fail” and “fall” sound similar?) I’ve watched the learning-to-walk process a few times and have many friends who’ve witnessed it too. In all my conversations around it, I’ve never heard of any kid who quit.
Why does failure have such stigma? Too many in society view it as a dirty world. But there is one segment of society who doesn’t: the successful. What some call failure, the successful call experience. Which viewpoint do you want?
Failure is considered a bad thing, in part because for decades we have been told that "Failure is not an Option." Let’s hope we can eventually rid our lives with this erroneous statement.
Let’s hope, Teddy!
The fear for me is one of rejection. I know, it’s crazy that I chose a profession where I get rejected more then accepted! I can handle failure if the support network is in place to cheer me through it. I think most of us can. The greatest risks are made enticing by the company of mischievous cohorts. We might fail – broken, scraped and battered – but what fun we will have! You in!?
I’m in! Like the concept, Kim.
Children soon start doing things to get a parent’s attention. If none comes, more aggressive tactics emerge. We are constantly looking for "someone’s" attention. Choosing the right "parent" in this world of many gurus and attention grabbers takes wisdom beyond a child’s years.
If you can find someone who really loves you, then it is safe to try to impress them. But, they don’t need to be impressed anyway, so you can relax and just enjoy being in their presence. It’s the peace that passes all understanding.
Very profound, Glenn!
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." OSCAR WILDE
I have lots of "experience", and thus far have enjoyed a rich and fulfilling life because of it. Always remember, the greatest risk is not taking one. If you don’t take the chance, you will always wonder, "What if…"
Nice post. Good topic.
Thanks, Linda. Great quote. I definitely want to minimize the "What ifs" in my life.